I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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