I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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