Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
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I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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