I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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