she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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