North Korea, Best Korea!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
