i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize