how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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