Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
