Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
