Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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