In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
