I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
