Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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