yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
