You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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