i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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