she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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