so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
