Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
