I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
