I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
