Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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