redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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