The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
