you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
