I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i've created a new STD.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
