He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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