even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
