walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
