Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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