i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
party gras won. party gras always wins.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
