Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
