I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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