He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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