He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
