After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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