My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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