we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
