I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
