You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
vagina is talking i cant
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
