Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
