Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
