What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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