Only a mothe r could love this liver
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
