Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
