every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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