Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
