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I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
