After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
