Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize