you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So apparently I’m into choking now
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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