i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
