Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He felt like a one man threesome
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
