It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize