Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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