So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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