That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
