Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
