I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
