I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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