Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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