hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
