All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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