it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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